Title: Erase/Rewind (1/?)
Authors: Dolores Labouchere and Faithtastic
This part: Faithtastic
Email: dolores_l@hotmail.com & inaneway@hotmail.com
Website: http://www.spiderplant.fsnet.co.uk
Summary: Faith adjusts to life after jail and meets a familiar face.
Rating: R for strong language. There may be future slashy content/subtext, or maybe not...
Spoilers: If it happened to Faith, it's probably here. So general season three Buffy, season four episodes 'This Year's Girl,' and 'Who Are You' plus first season Angel episodes 'Five by Five' and 'Sanctuary.'
Distribution: UCSL. Anywhere else, ask and you shall receive.
Feedback: We should bloody think so! Otherwise, what's the point?
Disclaimer: Faith and... other characters are copyright to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Kuzui Productions, Warner Brothers and presumably numerous other faceless corporations. We intend to make no gain from this fic, we're just trying to redress the balance of the fates of, in our humble opinion, the most neglected Buffy characters.
Notes: This is a joint effort, our first such project so please be kind. This story is set about six months after the Faith's 'Angel' episodes. The title is from the Cardigan's song on the Gran Turismo album. Oh, and / denotes thought and // denotes lyrics.

***

//yes, I've said it's fine before//
but I don't think so anymore//
I said it's fine before//
I've changed my mind//
I take it back//

Erase and rewind//
'cause I've been changing my mind//
I've changed my mind//

So, Los Angeles is the City of Angels. Faith kinda found that hard to believe. 'Cause she knew a real live Angel, and he was in hell before any of this. She thought about calling him, still had the card he gave her - 'Angel Investigations' - but she doubted how welcome she'd be. Cordelia would definitely turn the air blue if she ever showed up. As for Wesley... But the first person she thought about was B and Faith toyed with the idea of paying her a visit, for old times' sake. Thing is, Faith was sure B would stake her sooner than look at her. And Faith couldn't blame her 'cause if Faith was her, she'd do exactly the same thing. Wicked ironic how six months inside can give you a fresh perspective on things. In the end, all the cops could pin on her was the assault of that girl at the hospital. Seems the Mayor took care of everything else before he went snake and Faith would always be grateful to the sick son of a bitch for that. Yeah, he'd been livin' la vida loco but the Boss had always looked out for her. It seemed like a whole lifetime ago, not just under two years. That was a different Faith though. She kept herself under control now... well, mostly. She still had a wicked temper on her. Guess she inherited that from mom...

See, she developed a kinda discipline when she was in jail. Because routine is all you have, if you didn't have that then the loneliness, the guilt at what you've done could just eat away at you. There were people in there who made prison a career option but Faith didn't want that. Not that she wasn't tempted. She could've run that place but she wanted out. She did her time, like a good girl, kept her nose clean, signed up for a few inmate programs - the basketball team, the drama group, even got half-way to getting her high school diploma. 'Course, she had to see the prison psychologist, only for the jerk to tell her what she already knew. Yeah, she had a problem with authority figures (they kinda end up dead) and, yeah, she had trust issues. That's what happens when you get screwed over your whole life through. But it had made her see one thing: none of it was B's fault. She kinda wanted to tell Buff this stunning realisation that has taken her two years, y'know? The pills had a big part in helping her reach that conclusion. She has to take them every day, twice a day, for the rest of her life. Which bites, but unmedicated Faith is bad Faith. Anyways, she saw it as a trade-off and it was a condition of her parole.

She thought about B a lot. If she'd dealt and moved on or if B still cared about her. Given how pissed B was the last time she saw her, that seemed unlikely. Yeah, Faith dwelt on dumb things like that because she couldn't erase the past and didn't know where to begin to atone for it.

When she last showed up in Sunnydale B told her it didn't have to be this way. She was right but Faith couldn't see that then. She was full of hate, full of crazy shit hatred at B, at the world, at herself. For the longest time she saw her conscience as some little Buffy-shaped angel on her shoulder but the little Faith-shaped devil was usually the wicked vocal one. She always thought 'what would Buffy do?' because B was so damn perfect. Everyone looked up to Buffy, and everyone always wanted to know why Faith couldn't be more like her. Well, Faith had wanted to know why Buffy couldn't be more like *her*. Now, she was glad B wasn't.

Some of the people that became friends in prison told her that the air always tasted sweeter when you got out. It just tasted of smog to Faith. For the first time since before she was called as a Slayer, she wondered what the hell she was gonna do with her life. The only sure thing was the weekly visit of her parole officer. He'd given her the address of some half-way house for ex-cons that was expecting her to show up. The old Faith would've just took off but this Faith didn't wanna go back inside, not for that, so she decided she was gonna do this right. Job, apartment, straight up. Maybe she'd even get that dog she always wanted when she was a kid. She could just forget about vampires and demons and shit and just get on with her life. Like the good ol' Watchers' Council said, there can only be one Slayer in every generation. /Well, consider this my resignation, tweed guys./ But she knew that she couldn't have that life here, in LA, not being this close to B.

Actually, the half-way house place wasn't so bad. At least she had an en suite shower. And the mattress was soft which was a major bonus. Nobody checked on them, they could come and go as they please. After dinner that night, some of the girls talked about going out to a club and invited Faith along. She hadn't been dancing for so long, after slaying it was her favourite thing, and she knew that she was good. Hell, she was the best. So she accepted and got ready. Leather pants, baby T (had to show off her pride and joy, her tattoo - she got it not long after saving that bus full of Baptists... good times) and her denim jacket. She looked at herself in the mirror and it was like a reflection of her old self. Except that she knew she was a different girl. She pouted at herself with scarlet lips. Knock 'em dead, girlfriend. In a metaphorical sense.

When they got to the club, it wasn't long before Faith realised that her new friends were the kind who liked to sit in the corner, making crappy conversation. Not this chick. She headed straight for the dance floor and didn't care that she didn't know the song. Pretty soon some guys were closing around her, and she smirked. Glad to see she hadn't lost the touch, being surrounded by women 24/7. Not that she didn't see *any* action in jail... Well, a girl can get frustrated and a girl's as good as a guy when it comes down to anatomy. But she wasn't here for screwing tonight, she just wanted to dance, just to let herself go and *feel* the music. All too soon the music stopped and some guy came onstage to announce the band. Could be good, so she stayed where she was. The band skulked on and she recognised the little guy playing bass. Shit...

She didn't know whether to jump up on stage and hug the guy or motor. Unable to decide, she just stood there, staring like a real spazz. They performed three songs before taking a break and she didn't really know what she was doing, maybe she forgot to take her pill or something, but she headed towards the little door beside the stage. There was no security in this place so there was no one to stop her. Like they could. The backstage area was small, a corridor with a couple of dressing rooms off it. She could hear the band behind one of the doors, and she walked towards it. Then it opened and it was him and she didn't know what to say. He was just standing there, staring at her, his eyebrow lifting slowly, which was about all the surprise he showed.

"Hey... long time no see," Faith said, the lamest of lame things.

Oz just looked at her and she began to realise that this was a *really* bad idea.

****

Continued in Part 2