by
Dolores Labouchere
The doors hissed open at 0900 hours exactly. An immaculately dressed woman walked
through the opening onto the bridge. She had a commanding air and the crew all
looked around to acknowledge her presence as she strode to the chair that occupied
the centre of the room. With the exception of the stoical Vulcan toward the
rear of the room, their mouths all dropped open in shock.
"Mr. Chakotay: status report please," she snapped, her tone indicating
that only a report on the status of the ship would be allowed to pass his lips
at that point.
Looking slightly flustered, the dark-haired man seated next to her began to
stutter his reply, "Th-the - all systems are functioning normally, the
ship is, er, cruising at, um, Warp 8 and, er, everything's quiet. I think."
There was a split second pause before he added, "Captain."
"Very good." With that the woman sat back in the chair and stared
at the starfield ahead.
Chakotay shot a glance at Kim behind him, who returned his amazed expression.
Unable to turn around without the Captain noticing, Paris sat, ashen faced and
fiddled with his controls. He wished it was 1200 hours and he could leave the
bridge and start his shift in the sickbay - he needed to speak to B'Elanna about
this.
* * * * *
"Computer, activate the Emergency Medical Hologram."
The Doctor shimmered into view.
"Ah, Commander, how can I help you?" he enquired.
"It's the Captain…" Chakotay began, before the Doctor interrupted
him.
"I've told you: there's nothing medically wrong with her."
"I know that, but both myself and Tuvok have tried to bring the subject
up, but neither of us can get her to open up. Can't you try?"
"It's hardly in my job description to psycho-analyse the crew's dress sense."
"Please try, we need to know what's going on here."
"I will consider your request, but I have medical reports to be doing -
my real job."
* * * * *
Even a creation of the ship's computer had to raise an eyebrow when he walked
into the Captain's ready room. Janeway herself was standing pouring tea from
a china pot. As the doctor's visual receptors assessed the Captain's appearance
it became clear that it diverged greatly from her normal dress code.
Her hair, once tied up in an impossibly immaculate bun, rumoured to contain
shuttlecraft, then chopped to a bob, had been completely shaved off. Her face,
normally clear of jewellery, was now decorated with two earrings in each ear,
a nose stud and a ring through her left eyebrow. As she unconsciously licked
her lips a stud in her tongue flashed briefly into view. Her boots had changed
too - though still black leather, they now had a row of yellow stitches connecting
the leather to the opaque-yellow sole. Despite being dressed in her Starfleet
jumpsuit now, as she was on duty, the Captain had been seen off duty wearing
only a sleeveless t-shirt and cut-off jeans. These displayed clearly her tattooed
arms, the pendant shaped like the old Greek symbol for woman, and they emphasised
the fact that the Captain now neither shaved her armpits or her legs nor wore
a brazier.
"Doctor, how can I help you?" she asked, putting down the teapot.
"Captain, I know this subject has been brought up before, but I think the
crew have a right to know - what is going on?"
Her face hardened. "It's none of their business, nor is it yours. Dism-"
"It is my business if the crew are so distracted when you walk past accidents
are caused. That more damage wasn't caused when Ensign Kim launched a torpedo
at the Tr'geddi ship instead of opening the hailing frequencies because you
walked onto the bridge at that exact moment is frankly amazing."
"Doctor - it's not something I want to discuss."
"I am bound by an oath of confidentiality, Captain. You can trust me."
"If I don't?"
"Don't make me pull rank - after all, as Chief Medi-"
"Yes, yes." Janeway looked at the hologram and decided he was probably
her best option for now. "Please, take a seat."
"Whenever you're ready Captain Janeway," the Doctor said, in his best
bedside manner, taking up a position on the sofa. He had to move a PADD first
- and a glance at it told him it was the autobiography of an actress who starred
in the old moving picture industry on Earth. It was entitled Ellen and I by
Jodie Foster. The Captain settled beside him.
"It began a little after Kes left the ship. You see - I - I had a romantic
liaison with her. I mean, the real reason that she left was that she felt she
was being pushed out by the arrival of Seven of Nine. I admit, I have a weakness
for blondes, and Seven! she's beautiful and well, I did sorta fancy her and
well, I mean, I loved Kes in the way you do….."
"Captain - you had a romance with Kes?! But she was involved with Neelix
- and what about that trip to the future - she ended up with Paris!"
"Oh, Kes was no angel - she slept with anything that gave her attention.
She dumped Neelix because what was the 'Moral Officer' to her when she could
have the Captain? As for Paris - I've seen his medical files! No wonder B'Elanna
looks so happy. You could hardly blame Kes for wanting a good seeing to with
that monster."
"True," the Doctor agreed. His medical examinations of Paris always
took a bit longer than anybody else's. After all, a doctor had to make sure
that everything was in working order…. Janeway's voice cut through his
thoughts.
"Anyway, it took a little while, and I had to wait until most of the Borg
implants were removed, and then it was a matter of convincing her that it was
a viable relationship. It started when I was trying to teach her sculpting in
Da Vinci's workshop. I had my arms around her helping her work the clay, and
then I put some Righteous Brothers on - I saw it in one of those old movies
- and it just went from there." She paused to sip her Earl Grey.
"The first night we made love was that night. We'd had a good long kiss
in the holodeck, but I wanted more. Hell, she'd have moved in that night too,
but we couldn't get the Borg alcove through the door.
"Anyway, I got her out of that jumpsuit as quickly as I could. That bosum!
Two large fleshy melons! A perfect peach of a bum! Her nipples - Borgified to
the point where they stay erect! And those implants on her fingers! They have
many uses, Doctor, let me tell you. We spent all night making love, one sweat-soaked
body writhing against the other. I have never had so many multiple orgasms in
one eight hour period!"
"Yes, yes, very nice, but why the haircut?" interjected the Doctor,
momentarily forgetting his bedside manner.
Janeway snapped out of her reverie, and hoped that the damp patch wouldn't show
on the sofa.
"Well, Seven began to read about lesbianism and decided that I should conform
to a stereotype if I was to be a proper dyke. So I cut my hair, and that placated
her for a while. But she wanted more. She's spent six months trying to replicate
a cat, Doctor! Anyway, she kept pushing me to go the whole hog, but I couldn't.
Then she said I would do it if I loved her…." the Captain cast her
eyes downward to the floor, embarrassed that her secret was finally out. Under
her breath she muttered, "Evil bitch that she is."
"Why hasn’t she done the same?" asked the Doctor, "after
all, as a Borg they have no problem conforming to a stereotype. That's their
mission in life."
"It's a trade-off," Janeway explained, "if she is to learn some
individuality, I have to give up some of mine."
"You really expect me to believe that?" said the Doctor.
"Well, I mean, it might have something to do with the fact that she read
somewhere that lesbian couples have a man and a woman, and that as the one with
the bigger chest she got to be the wife. Maybe."
The Doctor sighed. "The wonders of Borg clitoral stimulation."
Janeway smiled, then said, "Well, now you know, who d'you think would be
better as a donor father - Chakotay or Paris? I've replicated a turkey baster!"
The Doctor sighed again…..
The End